EP 77: Embracing Biblical Femininity

In this episode of "Jordan's Journey," the host returns after a two-year hiatus to launch Season 4, expressing gratitude for the guests and stories shared. The special guest, Tekeishia Iwegbu (TK), a minister, wife, mother, and podcaster, discusses her journey in marriage and her advocacy for kingdom marriages through her community, "Ladies of Light." TK shares personal experiences, emphasizing her husband's support in her self-discovery and the transformative power of their relationship. The conversation delves into the essence of kingdom marriages, femininity, and the importance of self-awareness and spiritual growth in fostering strong, meaningful relationships.

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Transcript

Awesome. Wow. I'm so excited because it has been, I want to say, two years since we've recorded the podcast, a podcast episode for Jordan's Journey. I took some time to really just hone in on the direction what I wanted. We got some sponsors now, and I was very intentional about the guests who I wanted to bring on the woman, the stories. and so we're back. We're back with another episode. I guess you can say this is season four of the podcast, and, we have a special guest with us today. And so introduce yourself again you guys. This is real life, real people, real testimonies sharing their stories. And we're just excited to be back up rolling okay. So introduce yourself. Let us know who you are, what you do, where you're from, all that good stuff. First and foremost congratulations. Thank you. Season four is a big deal. Yes. Right. Because people give up after season shoot episode three. Yeah. It takes a lot to do what you do.

Speaker 1
00:01:30
So congratulations. I pray that you've celebrated. Not yet when we're done today okay. Because this is like the first recording. So after today, so much preparation went into just getting here. Yeah. So I'm excited. Yeah. Well congratulations. Yes. Yes I'm super honored. My name is Tekeishia. Most people call me TK. I am a daughter of God. I am a minister. I'm a wife, a mother of four daughters. I have a 18 year old. 15. Eight and seven. The 18 and 15 are my bonus baby girls. so how many do you have? Two to. Yeah. Two together. Me and my husband have two together. I am a podcaster. Me and my husband have a relationship podcast where we help people thrive in relationships. we were kind of talking about this yesterday, but it's funny how God calls you to the very area that you struggle in, the area that you didn't want to lean into. So, we went through a lot in the beginning of dating and marriage, and then God redeemed our marriage and called us back to married couples.

Speaker 1
00:02:44
And so that's what we do in our podcast. I also have a community called Ladies of Light. we meet every Tuesday. I help women nurture their God given femininity while honoring their individuality And, I went on this, this journey of wanting to honor God with every part of me as a woman. Modesty, fitness. But I felt like every time I was looking at femininity, it was really one sided pink dresses, you know, just the super bubbly, girly side of femininity. And I have that side. But I also am fierce. I also am assertive. I am a leader, and for so long I shut down those parts of me because I was on the journey of trying to honor God, and he really set me free in my own individuality, still claiming who I am whilst still being feminine. And so that's what I do in my community as well as propel women into kingdom marriages. So I am an advocate for kingdom marriages. after we went through what we went through, which I'm sure we'll get into, the way I remember I said this on TikTok one time, the second best decision I made in my life was getting married to my husband.

Speaker 1
00:04:04
The first is, of course, giving my life to Christ, right? And I remember it went viral and so many people were like, girl, that's it. Like, that's your biggest. Why do you say that? What makes you say like, this was the second best decision? Yeah. That I've ever made. What makes you say that? I mean, the list goes on, but right out of the gate, it is absolutely the greatest form of sanctification. I wouldn't have known myself on the level that I know myself now without my husband. And I'm so honored to have such a patient, well paced man. So even when he saw I got married at 21, that's young, very young. So there was no journey of getting to know myself. I was fresh and Christian hip hop, starting my career. I wasn't even thinking about marriage, let alone children. Yeah. And so when I met him, just a very young, emotionally immature, I was a wreck. I'm keeping it cute, but I was a wreck of a wife.

Speaker 1
00:05:01
And the way that he just, oh my gosh, just so graciously led me and taught me the little nudges that he would say, like, hey, I think, I think you need to go on a self-awareness journey. And I remember he kept saying it in a way irritate me. Like, why do you keep saying that? Like, I don't know myself. What are you. Why do you keep saying that? And then I went on that journey and I was like, wow, I know nothing about me. and just the parts of him that taught me the parts that I needed to lean into, the patience that I didn't have, he had. And I remember someone asked me about submission, like, how did I learn to submit? I'm like, my husband showed me. He showed me how to submit.

Speaker 2
00:05:41
I find that very interesting because most of the times you hear people say that you need to.

Speaker 1
00:05:47
Find yourself and know who you are before you get into the relationship, but you're saying your marriage helped you find who you are for sure.

Speaker 1
00:05:56
And I also can see the danger of that, because I can see a woman getting to know herself and looking at who she married saying, oops, I don't like you. I like this version of me, I don't want you. I can absolutely see that. And I had those moments for sure, had those moments where I was developing and I was growing and I was gaining that confidence and that zeal and who I was. And I'm like, okay, maybe I need this type of man or that type of man. And I'm so grateful that I stayed, because if I'm talking, God is just so divine in his alignment when it comes to kingdom marriages, because every part that irritated me that I didn't like, I still needed. Okay, so let's. For those who are not aware, can you describe what exactly is a kingdom marriage now? For me personally, the first time I heard kingdom marriage was on YouTube. Okay, okay. And so people putting out words about marriages, your husband coming and it can have positive and negative connotations.

Speaker 1
00:06:58
So, help us to know what exactly is a kingdom marriage and how you advocate for that. Yeah, I think kingdom marriage is exactly what the scriptures say. Yeah. The relationship between Christ and the church. Husband and wife are the same reflection. So the same sacrifice that Jesus died on the cross. Yeah. To redeem us is the same thing. A husband represents the same thing when we honor God. And our life is dedicated to giving him the glory simply because of that one act. Thank you for giving us access to the Kingdom of Heaven forever. For that reason, I'll go through the sanctification process to look like you more and more every day. I think that's marriage. and then ultimately reflecting him to everyone else. Yeah. There is just no greater form of it. When when someone can see a woman in a man operating in the highest form of selflessness. There must be a God. There has to be a god, especially in this culture. Which is? Makes total sense. Why there's war on marriage? Yes.

Speaker 1
00:08:06
In this culture, yes. Because if if in this culture, people were able to see thriving kingdom marriages, marriages that did not give up just because they didn't like each other for a season, right? Marriages that pressed in when it got difficult, marriages that did think about Jesus. Yes. Right. Like when we think about Jesus, no matter what we've done, he is always there to forgive us. He is always there. Okay. Are you ready now? Yeah. Are you ready to serve me now? Because I'm ready to clean you up. I'm ready to heal you. I'm ready. That is marriage. It is the long haul. There is no way out except for, you know, some biblical things we can stand on. But I think representing who Jesus is first and foremost happens in sanctification, in marriage. And then it reflects to the world. And then we get to make love. Yeah. Build a family and get this money together. Yeah. Oh, my gosh, King, the marriage is lit.

Speaker 1
00:08:57
Yeah, yeah. so how do you prepare women to position them to position themselves for a kingdom marriage? Yeah. So my answer would have been different years ago. But now, because most women that are in my community and who I coach are 35 and up. Yeah. So these women have a extremely high level of self-awareness, sometimes to a fault. They're so aware that there is no room. Yeah. And so I feel like first and foremost, if you are 30 plus and older, you got your stuff together, right. You know yourself, you are in your career, your ministry. I think flexibility is a huge part to play because yes, of course, having a relationship with Christ like, let me not skip the basics. Have a relationship with Christ. Yeah. Personal development. Right? Right. Self-awareness, emotional intelligence. Those all come before. But having an open mind to who God has for you. Because I do think that at a certain age, you get to a place where I got the bag, I'm fine and I'm intelligent and I love the Lord.

Speaker 1
00:10:12
Right? You know, your your standards. They get a little higher. They did and they did. Yeah. Sometimes we're looking for a man that aesthetically will please us, but internally, our soul and our spirit won't be challenged by a certain type of men. That's true. So my husband, he is not the macho, you know, super alpha. Come in the room. That's what I thought I wanted him knowing who I am. Oh my gosh, we would. We would have been boxing. If I got that type of man, it wouldn't have worked, right? Because I didn't need another me. I needed the opposite of me. So I needed someone that thought before they spoke. I needed someone that processed some emotions before they brought a conversation to the table. I needed to see my husband. I say this all the time. We've been together for ten years and maybe three, maybe, maybe three times. I've witnessed him not get up and pray, and that was because he was probably sick.

Speaker 1
00:11:06
So I watched him every morning on his face, weeping, crying out to God, fasting, faithful. I was taught by him on how to be faithful to God, not just him. That's the beauty of God. That's beautiful. And I think that works when you have a true man of God who is seeking righteousness for righteousness, who's seeking the heart of God. so you guys been together for ten years? You were you married at 20? You said no. So we're we were to we're together for ten years in August. Married for nine in September. Okay. So. But you were younger, in your 20s. And so I'm just curious to know that you guys start off with Christ. Or did you guys grow into Christ? Yeah, so me and my husband were both leaders. We were on the worship team. That's how we met at church. I didn't gain friends in this church at all. I was so excited. I'm 20. I think I was actually 20 when I joined, so it was my first church that I chose as an adult.

Speaker 1
00:12:09
And I was so excited. It was a bunch of young people. Everyone was 20, the pastor was 28, 29, something like that. And I was so excited to gain sisterhood. I didn't at all. The girls did not like me. And when I met my husband, of course, friend at the time, he was just so friendly. He was so kind, so open. There was, you know, when you talk to men and you can tell like they're basically being intimate with you just by how they look at you. It wasn't that it was such a pure, genuine friendship. And so that's how our relationship started. just I was like, finally I got a Christian friend, but we were both locked in with Christ. I've been saved my whole life. Oh, good. He was saved for probably like a decade at that time, so we were both locked in. I think that makes a difference for sure. Good for sure. So even though I was emotionally immature, spiritually, I was decently anchored.

Speaker 1
00:13:02
we met, became friends, started liking each other, was intimate, not pregnant the first time we were intimate. And that's when chaos broke loose. Chaos? Yeah. So what? What kind of chaos? so I got pregnant in September. My husband proposed to his ex in January at the church in front of everyone on New Year's. So the church in the city that we're from, that was the pop in church. Like everyone knows the pastor. It's the biggest church in where we're from, right? So they silently broke off the engagement, but no one knew they broke off the engagement except the pastors. And you were pregnant during this time? No, no. So they broke up. Okay. Months later, we became friends and I got pregnant. But they still think that he is with me. So they were like, one plus one math. Eight math. And the math is not math. What is going on? Yeah. so I was labeled everything the homewrecker. I broke up this couple, the pastor, you know, told my husband that he has to take his hand off of him, that I guess he couldn't be his spiritual father anymore because he chose to be with me.

Speaker 1
00:14:24
you know, essentially told him to leave me, like, yeah, take care of your child, but, like, y'all don't need to be together. Yeah. And my husband was, like, that didn't settle in my spirit. And he honored that man. Like. And he'll tell his own story, but yeah, borderline idolization too as well because that was his first spiritual father, first spiritual experience, first spiritual family. Yeah. And so he honored every word that he spoke. And when I tell you my husband was depressed after, I remember when he had that conversation with that pastor and he came back home. And, you know, at this point, I'm pregnant. I think we moved in together. I can't remember maybe, but I was there at his house all the time. Yeah. And I remember when he came home from that conversation. My husband is very warm, light hearted. Nobody dislikes him like he's a very likable man. And I saw him walk through that door and it was a different human.

Speaker 1
00:15:25
He was completely broken. His spirit was broken for years because of the conversation with his pastor. Wow. just kind of being tossed to the side, like, I make this mistake, and now you take your hands off of me? I've been starving. Does the church do that all the time? All the time? All the time. It's funny because, this is emotionally immature talk. So when that happened, you know, I went on a little Facebook rant and I'm like, this is insane. Like, we've been serving, right? And just because our sin is being made known, right? Because let's keep it real. Everybody sends. Let's keep it, y'all just not nobody's nobody's perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No one is perfect. And, yeah, it broke us because the whole church had a lot to say about it. And I remember I went on a whole little rant spree on Facebook. I was absolutely depressed. I disappeared for, like, I hid my whole pregnancy.

Speaker 1
00:16:31
Disappeared. Me and my husband. Absolutely depressed. Absolutely. Just incredibly sad. It's crazy because years later, multiple women got pregnant in the same church and came to me because they experienced the same thing. Wow, multiple women, what do I do? And unfortunately, they're not even in church anymore. These women. And so what was meant to take me? I remember someone else asked me like, how did you stay locked in with God? I'm like, now, no man can do anything to take me from God. I might leave your church, right? But I'm not leaving God, right? I'm never doing that. But yeah, for for years I remember because he was so locked in with his church and I was too. We were trying to visit other churches and trying to serve other places. We loved God. We love worshiping together. It was like a dead man. He was just broken. So you guys have a podcast today. You work together. So how did you get out of that? Yeah.

Speaker 1
00:17:27
To hear. And your husband's also your manager? Yes. So you, He's everything. He's everything. So how did you guys come out of that to this place. To working together, thriving together, doing ministry together. Yeah, I'm gonna be honest. It was a it was a part of us that didn't even want to admit how traumatizing that was. Yeah. And I remember when we set with our we did premarital counseling. We're sitting with the pastor, and he said, I'm gonna be honest. Everything else, y'all good like this makes sense, he said. But if y'all don't get this church situation, this pastor church situation, this could break y'all apart. Because my husband, even after we went through what we went through, years later, we went back to the church. So we were there for two years. Girl, when I tell you anxiety attack after anxiety attack, I already knew nobody liked me. the pastor started getting a little bit better as well as the first lady.

Speaker 1
00:18:21
But you know, the people were the people and they were people ING. I remember I had a conversation years later, and it was a young lady that wasn't even there when I got pregnant. Years later, I'm talking at least five years. And she was like, She was hesitant to become my friend because she heard that I took someone's man. And this was told by this was told to her by leaders. So years later, this is still happening and we're at the church. And I was wondering, like, this is a new girl you don't even know. Oh, y'all still talking? So we eventually left again. We went to therapy for This is in the church. This sounds very messy and really that these things are still happening in the church. And this is what draws people away. Yeah, for sure. I've had so many people inbox me and apologize years later like, I'm sorry, that was wrong. Oh my gosh. I had a conversation with a few leaders. I actually went on a little spree of pulling people aside, and people were pulling me aside to, like, I should have called.

Speaker 1
00:19:24
I should have, you know, tapped in, gave you a phone call, right? I apologize, that was crazy. That was insane. And I had my faults, too. I apologize to the pastor. Sent a long message. You know, I was immature, I was broken, I was sad. but after going to therapy, first and foremost, we had to admit that we were traumatized by the church. Right? And that was hard to even our pride didn't even want to admit that. Like, man, forget y'all. Like, God bless y'all. I'm talented as heck. Yeah. I'm opening for huge Christian hip hop artist, I don't care. I'm trying to tell myself I don't care. But every argument was about that. Every argument, every every tension, any moment that popped up. Because I can't even get into how much happened. Like I'm talking somebody like called authorities said that we kidnapped our child like it was a extremely messy, heartbreaking, traumatizing situation to where I didn't know I was traumatized until I got in a healthy church.

Speaker 1
00:20:25
and I still I was projecting. Yeah. All pastors are like this. All churches are like this. Yeah, all worship teams are like this. And it's like, girl, they love you, right? They absolutely love you. Yeah. so to be honest, therapy. But then, girl, we had to leave the city. We left the entire city, moved to Atlanta. And that is when true freedom happened. And when I tell you when we touched down in Atlanta. Oh my gosh, acceleration, quantum leap, whatever you want to call it immediately. God, just the favor of God on our life, our podcast, my community, everything I'm doing now, I absolutely wouldn't have been able to do it in my hometown. No way. So therapy, admitting that we were broken, admitting our part that we played, and going to therapy still to this day and moving away. We just our feet, as the Bible says, and move to the next city, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1
00:21:24
New beginnings. I want to put a pin there because you mentioned about femininity, like biblical femininity And, First of all, what is femininity? Biblical femininity? Is there a difference between like worldly femininity, femininity, biblical femininity? And how can we, woman of God step into that? Like, what does that look like? Yes, there's absolutely a difference between biblical and cultural femininity, which is why I say biblical, godly femininity when I speak, because it can get spooky. cultural femininity is freedom of expression, sexual expression, you know, where would you want be bold in that? It can also be forms of manipulation. So using your femininity and your looks to get where you're going in a negative way. So we're not talking about right manipulation. Absolutely. So we're not talking about Esther who was beautiful and what her beauty was used by God to get her in the room. Not that, sensuality that is based off of sexuality. So getting in rooms because you're really flirting with everyone or you're sleeping with everyone.

Speaker 1
00:22:33
Yeah. and it is a form of flirting is considered witchcraft. Oh, wow. I was going to ask a single woman. I just I've heard that and in faith based spaces, but I'm not going to. Yeah, I thought you had some more insight on that. Yeah, I definitely don't think it is. if you're a single woman with a single man. So what are all the dates in general? Because I guess it could be considered like a form of manipulation, bringing them in. I mean, I think it depends on what you think flirting is. If, in my definition, flirting is, I am letting you know I am enjoying your company, I am open to your company. I'm open to this developing. I think that's something I think that's just being open and honest. Like this is how I feel. I'm open to your company, I don't okay. Yeah. Flirting. I'm thinking like batting the eyes Ice or like doing certain moves. Flipping the hair. See, I call that femininity.

Speaker 1
00:23:35
Oh, okay. So let's let's talk about it. But I'm not batting my eyes at my pastor. Right. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm not flipping my hair when I'm talking to a man of God, right? It's crazy because I actually just talked about this, on our last meeting, on our zoom call, I was actually doing roleplay with some of the ladies, and I was like, arch your back when you're sitting. And this is femininity, though. So when I say mannerisms that are feminine, yeah, maybe that people are thinking that's flirting, but no, you, you should behave and sit and walk and behave like a female, a woman. so I can get where like the batting of the eyes could be manipulation. But if you are in a relationship. So let me also give you my perspective. Yeah. I absolutely let my man know that I was interested in him. So this is coming from an assertive woman. Is that flirting, though? I think that's just letting him know.

Speaker 1
00:24:30
Like I'm I'm incue. That's just being honest. If that's maybe so, because I know back then for sure I didn't know how to flirt, I definitely didn't. I think of like like I said, batting up the eyes, twitching the hair, or like once having a heart switch when you walk, knowing, knowing that he's looking at you or something like that. so femininity. So talk to us about that. Yes. I love this subject. I don't think that there really can be masculinity without femininity. Yes, I think that they both equal out one another. You know how they say that some women, we all have both of the traits. I don't know if I necessarily agree with that, but I believe that femininity is a energy. It is a spirit. God did not create man like woman. That's just there's no twisting and turning of that. And I think when we deny the feminine, womanly, nurturing traits we are denying a God aspect of ourselves. simple. Simply put, femininity to me is authentically in your womanhood.

Speaker 1
00:25:38
That does not. There's no label to that. There is no dresses. There is no your makeup being a certain way, I think it is being an expression of a woman. So when you walk in a room, it should feel like help is walking in the room. Nurturing is walking in the room all the aspects of what a woman is. Think about the Proverbs 31 woman, right? Resourcefulness is walking in. The resources are walking in the room, and operating in that. And I think that when culturally when we are trying to become men because either, you know, some situations you're a single mom or you have to get it done, but you don't have to be masculine to do that. You can still be a woman. You can still speak in a way that is womanly. You don't have to always say this. You don't have to bark when you come in the room. you don't have to do anything but be a woman. And I think that's godly femininity to honor who you are as a woman.

Speaker 1
00:26:32
I help women organize their life in a way that I call it the feminine frequency formula. And a lot of women are trying to get balance in their day to do what God has called them to do while being a mother and a wife. And they've went to so many coaches that have, you know, okay, this is what your ideal week should be. You should do this time with God. And I'm like, but what they're missing is we are women. So there are parts of us that need to be fed that men don't have to feed themselves in a way, femininity, self-care, right? Sitting with yourself, being quiet, painting your toenails, going on that walk, honoring the woman that you are slowing down cycle. So be mindful of your a part of your femininity. Absolutely. Like having some sort of self-awareness as feminine. Taking care of yourself. Yes, taking care of your body, your hair, your nails. Grooming is a part of. Sure. Slowing down. Slowing down.

Speaker 1
00:27:26
Slow morning. We don't work the same for if there's 28 days in a month, 30 days in a month. We do not work the same as men do, right? I talk teach my community about cycle syncing. Luteal phase. We're slowing down. We are not going hard in the gym. We're not lifting heavy. We're not working 12 hours every week, the week before. My husband knows he's linked to the same app. I probably don't want to talk as much. Yeah, I'm going to slow down. You're going to see me taking breaks. You're going to see me taking naps. That's what I need to be. Because when I skip parts of me that feed that femininity, I am masculine, right? And if I'm masculine, I'm out of my God-Given design. Yes. yeah. You're not going to see me working as hard as you're not the man you're going to. I'm going to take breaks. I'm gonna drink some water and will my teas. I'm gonna be still. I'm gonna take time to go to the gym, right? And so I think that there is a like a stigma, especially in the Christian community, that woman of God or not, I want to say feminine or like even maybe pretty especially like in the, in the churches.

Speaker 1
00:28:37
Yeah. I would get comments. You know, I've seen a comment on my YouTube and, and I got this more than once and this is why I'm bringing it up. Like I'm not listening to her because she's too pretty to to be speaking. so I think, like, there's this stigma that like, Woman of God have to look a certain way or like in the Christian church, like, is it okay to wear makeup? Is it okay to have, like, something that shows your curves, right? Like, where is that balance? Where you're still desirable? Because I've even heard men of God say that, that the men of God will go after woman of culture Because they are feminine. Because they're. They're desirable and attractive to look at. unlike, like real, true women of God. And so what are your thoughts on that? Yeah, I think the church has definitely played a part in demonizing anything that is pretty. because you got to think, you know, if the pastor has a first lady that's out of shape, she's not feeling the best.

Speaker 1
00:29:44
She's like, what are you coming in here with that makeup and that skirt, girl, cover up. Don't come in here like that again. Wipe that makeup off. No red lipstick. Jezebel. Why you got on that jewelry? Why you got all that we've like? Yeah. It's been demonized for so long. I remember I wore a, It was a one sided shoulder. I had my shoulder out, right? And I posted it. I went out to eat with my husband. I posted it on Instagram and women were like, I didn't even know. That was like, you could do that and still be considered modest, because I still did it in a way that was tasteful, right? And like literally women were like, I did not know, like I thought you had to be covered. I thought you had to be. And what I think that is, if we get to know God more, we won't really listen to people as much. Yes, because when you have a conversation with God concerning modesty, first and foremost, yes, there is an aesthetic to that.

Speaker 1
00:30:30
Yes. But first and foremost, that starts in your heart. Yeah. Because there are so many women that are covered from head to toe and oh, look how modest I am. But terrible hearts. Yes, but absolutely gossiping about everyone, right? Absolutely hateful. Absolutely need help on forgiving. And then you got the woman with her shoulder out who was a bright light, who is bringing in women in the church. She is incredibly warm. And so I think first and foremost, it is a hard thing. Yes. Second of all, who gave us our curves? Yeah. We like I didn't ask for thighs. Yeah. In a behind and I didn't I didn't ask for those things. God gave that to me. Yeah. And even I can get into a whole nother subject, even about sexuality. But I think that we demonize it, and I think we demonize it because we don't know how to do it in a God fearing way. So you and I like. Why do we keep skipping Esther? Why? Okay, let's talk about Easter.

Speaker 1
00:31:25
Let's, let's let's take a quick, deep dive into Esther, because I feel like she's a biblical good example of reference that can kind of navigate this topic of the conversation when it comes to I love Esther. I love that she took a year to just be a baddie. Okay, let's talk about it. I love it like a year of beauty treatment. She sure did a year. And y'all want to say something about our little retreat that we go on to two times a year, like, what are we talking about? And then we got to talk about how prophetic her beauty was for on the behalf of her nation. That's that's like, what are we talking about? Let's get into that because that's a new term prophetic beauty. So yeah, break that down. So I remember I was just starting YouTube, I got a mentor and he said it in such a honoring way, but I was keeping what he was saying. He was like oh the camera quality is good. Like he was looking at our stuff.

Speaker 1
00:32:25
He was like, y'all look good. Whatever. subjects might want a little more energy just to keep the people engaged, he said. But to be honest, y'all are attractive. Couple. That's half the battle. If you look good, that just brings them in. Now we got to keep them at the table. Right? So I think that in so many instances I say this all the time. Everywhere I go I talk to people Walmart, target, subway, anywhere I go. And guess what the beginning of the conversation is? You're so pretty. Who does your eyebrows? You are so well dressed. You smell so good. I love your nails. It is always about my beauty. That's the beginning. Now if you don't have that gets them in, that gets. Oh man, how do you think I have my community? If I was not caring about myself, there's no way I could teach women every week about. And I also think you are a representation of God. So when they see you like you should, they should want to know, like, who is this God that you're serving that you look like this? Yes, yes, it is the beginning of every conversation.

Speaker 1
00:33:29
And then because as a woman, you if you have what I which I hope more than your beauty to offer, that keeps them right wherever it is, whether you're a minister or you're a business owner. And I'm also like, let's not skip the very practical thing. I am a businesswoman, too. So I am a businesswoman. Yeah, I am also a wife. Right? So everywhere I go, I'm of course representing God, but my husband and my children and I also know that any woman that I have coached and she has dealt with insecurity or being overly masculine or jealous of other women, is because she don't feel good about herself. That's the root of insecurity. And if you don't like something about yourself, it Change it. And I and we can go even deeper. I remember I was having a conversation with the Lord about my diet and I. I've been eating pretty clean for years now, but I knew that God was calling me deeper. I just didn't want to go. I didn't want to go there.

Speaker 1
00:34:28
Yeah. And I remember I was talking to the Lord and I'm like, God, why does this matter? Like, why do you keep bringing this up to me? Like I'm not understanding. And he showed me just a quick vision of what where he was calling me to. And he said, the flights that you're about to catch the story, the seasons of lack of sleep that you're about to get, the season that you're about to press into you, there's no way you can do it and be unhealthy. There's no way you can do it and not go. I'm talking. I'm kind of crazy about my diet. Like there's no way you're going to have to fast. You're going to have to detox. You're going to have to drink juices, you're going to have to be clean. And so there's a part. Yes, the beauty part. But also if you want to be anything that's worth Anything. Internally, God calls us to take care of our temple. That's not just internally, that's externally too.

Speaker 1
00:35:18
And so there's so many benefits to going to the gym. We all know this to stretching, to taking care of your body. There's so many benefits to your obviously it minimizes the anxiety, the depression, the emotional eating, so many diseases that are avoidable. Yeah. If we just paid attention to how we take care of ourselves. And so girl, every day I have at least two hours to myself. That's morning and night. My morning routine is an hour and my night routine is an hour. It is non-negotiable. I don't care if a tornado is around the corner. TK going to light a candle. Okay, what's your morning routine? So I wake up about 530. The latest is 545. I immediately go downstairs, make tea. I either sometimes go on my prayer closet depends or I go downstairs and I play worship instrumental. I start off by just gratitude sometimes. Silence. Thank you Lord for today. Thank you for keeping me. Thank you for my children. Thank you for all the things that you're blessing me with.

Speaker 1
00:36:16
I'm honored to serve you. What is your will for me today? I journal and then I either I don't do devotions, so I'm either studying a certain part of the Bible or I am. if I do do a devotion, it's a little more in depth. Yeah. I stretch, and yeah, I make breakfast for my kids. That's about an hour. So. Yeah. Are you a gym girly in the morning? No, I go to the gym at 11, 1130. Yeah, yeah. I'm not a morning. You're. I wouldn't make it. I wouldn't make it the rest of the day if I worked out early. No, your.

Speaker 3
00:36:51
Morning routine is very, very similar to mine, but I want to go back into, Esther. Yes. Because God used her beauty to basically save the nation. Their beauty was what got her.

Speaker 1
00:37:03
In the room.

Speaker 3
00:37:04
In the room sought after by the king? Absolutely. She stood out amongst all that she was at a ball at a gala.

Speaker 1
00:37:12
Yeah.

Speaker 3
00:37:13
And she stood out because of her beauty. And she was chosen and saved the nation. Right?

Speaker 1
00:37:18
But imagine if she was just pretty and she didn't obey God and going that fast. So yes.

Speaker 3
00:37:25
There's more to it.

Speaker 1
00:37:26
Yes. Beauty gets you in the room for sure. I already know my looks have gotten me in several, but then they hear me and they're like, wait, she got something to say too, right? Would you like to join my team? Like. Right. Yeah. It gets you in the room for sure. But yeah, we got to also be confident. We got to also have a relationship with the Lord. We got to also hear his voice. there has to be depth, but I think Esther is the perfect example. If any woman is doubting if God cares about beauty and taking care of yourself, let's just look at her story like keep reading it until it gets in your spirit. This woman took a year to to for of beauty treatments.

Speaker 1
00:38:01
How much more in this day and age do we need to have time for ourselves? And I think especially for Our mothers that are, you know, every time I talk, I help women with their schedule and get their weeks together. Every time I'm like, yeah, this is why you don't like nobody. Like, yeah, this is why you're frustrated with your husband. Yeah. This is why you're mean to your kids and you are regretting it later on. Why are you not starting your day off with yourself? Why are you not hearing yourself? Even when it comes to friendship? Anything that I do, I would not be able to make the decisions I make if I did not get time to hear myself. What are we talking about? This in the car. What are your desires? Yeah, I asked myself that every quarter. Excuse me? Because it can change. They do. It can change each quarter. Okay. This quarter I am in love with my work. Yeah, I am working my butt off.

Speaker 1
00:38:48
It is a non-negotiable. It is my priority outside of Christ, my family getting this work done, everything else. I'll see you second quarter, but I would not know that if I don't continue. And because you got to think about it, sometimes God gives us a word. Yeah. And if we don't take that time because prayer is not enough, it's not enough. I know we think it is. It is not. Being with yourself and knowing yourself and looking at that log in your eye, going on that personal development journey, going on that self-awareness about it, you have to do that in order to know anything about yourself. You won't know the husband that you want and need. You won't know the type of friends you want and need. You won't know the type of mother that you need to be for this season. You won't know your calling, your purpose. That's all individualized, all individual. And I think that that's where there's a disconnect with the churches for sure. You know, I think there's a general there's doctrine that's being taught, but it's like how does this apply to me and what I'm going and sometimes I don't know.

Speaker 1
00:39:53
Yeah, it's not connecting. That's absolutely what I dealt with. Because if I, you know, from the past churches that I've been at, I'm looking at the first lady and she's just serving her husband. Yeah. When I tell you we had a counseling session and my husband left and he was like, we had a counseling session. And the the guy was like, TC, I don't know, why are you trying to. Why are you pretending to be this version of yourself that you're not like? You're not this extremely discreet in the corner? It was one of our mentors, okay? He was like, that's not you. Mind you, he barely knew me, right? But he saw right through me. He was like, this is an act. Like you are a heavy stepper. When you get in the room, you prophesy, you speak, you declare what the Lord is saying, and you have to say difficult, difficult things at that, right? This is not you.

Speaker 1
00:40:40
But for so long I only saw one version of a woman, which is serve. Your husband said to the side, which I absolutely do cater to his needs, but my husband also serves me right, caters to me right, follows me around. He's catching flights with me. He's carrying my makeup bag to like. But for so long it wasn't represented in the church. I'm like, is this demonic? Yeah. Oh, am I leading him right? Is he submitting to me? And I struggled struggled with that because not just culture cultural, but in the church. Yeah, it wasn't taught that you can be this and God still love you. This does not mean you're out of order, right? Because you're beautiful and you're stepping heavy in your calling. That don't mean nothing. Deborah. What are we talking about? Men went to her to figure out the plans. What are we going to do? Because we lost. Yeah, but had that been in our culture. Oh she's dominating.

Speaker 1
00:41:32
Oh, she's too aggressive. They knew that woman carried something. Yeah. And that's what we are. We carry something. And if you deny that back to what I'm going to keep saying, you deny an entire part of you. And this is why women are so miserable. This is also why women are over sexual. I talk about how when women struggle with lust issues, whether that's masturbation or being promiscuous, yes, that is a real thing. Yes, that is something that has to be surrendered to God. But connected to lust is passion and desire. Yeah. So if you are not operating in your passion, if you are a passionate, driven woman and that is unfulfilled, you absolutely will be hyper promiscuous. Because that's the only way I can let this out. That's the only way I can let this drive in this sensuality. No, you're supposed to go get the bag. You're supposed to be operating in ministry. Yeah. It's it. That's why I keep saying I help women nurture their femininity while honoring their individuality.

Speaker 1
00:42:28
Because we're completely different. You might relate to Deborah. You might relate to Mary. They said at Jesus feet. I relate to Esther and Deborah. I relate to prophets. Right? You know what I'm saying? So I think it is something that I'm advocating for in this culture that we can be all of it. All of it. Absolutely. we didn't get into our theme question because we've been having such good conversation, which I've been loving the conversation. Me too.

Speaker 4
00:42:55
Which is, you know, when did you come to the Realization that there was a God. I don't know if you touched on this.

Speaker 1
00:43:06
slightly.

Speaker 4
00:43:06
Yeah, but what happened? Take us back to that day. How was that experience for you? So I.

Speaker 1
00:43:15
Don't have a moment that I did not know God.

Speaker 4
00:43:17
And that's. Wow.

Speaker 1
00:43:19
Yeah. I don't.

Speaker 4
00:43:19
Have.

Speaker 1
00:43:19
A thing. I don't have a moment. I was having prophetic dreams at eight and nine and ten, and my grandma and mom was, interpreting them and having visions at 12.

Speaker 1
00:43:30
praying to God at school. My friends knew I was a prayer warrior back then. Wow. so I've always known God. I had a season from 15 to 19 that I wanted to see what the world was about. Yeah. And so that is when I started smoking. Drinking, I dated women. and the 19 I came back to the Lord full, full blown like. Yeah. The same for me. Yeah. almost caught a case. I'm not doing jail time. That's not happening. And to be honest, when I knew God. So I knew God as a higher being.

Speaker 4
00:44:05
Yeah.

Speaker 1
00:44:06
As you know, all authority controls everything. The creator. But I didn't gain relational relationship. Relational, connection with the Lord until the church situation. so when I went through that depression and I was just kind of tossed to the side. Yeah, I was crying out to God. I was in the house in a dark house for three months, I was nauseous. It was a horrible pregnancy too.

Speaker 1
00:44:32
but calling out to God and just realizing, oh my gosh, you're nothing like them. Yeah, you're nothing like human. Like you are so gentle. You're so forgiving. You're so loving. And that's when I knew that God will use me in a mighty way because he. I tell people all the time, if you've been tossed to the side, if you're ready to surrender, get ready. Get ready to be used by God. Right? Because I think he loves saying, oh, y'all thought y'all was going to throw my daughter away.

Speaker 4
00:45:00
Think again.

Speaker 1
00:45:01
Think again. That you forced to see her on your timeline every day now. Now you're forced to see her at your conferences. All those panels you thought she was tossing to the side because you took her hand off it? So I think God has a way of. Oh, he's. God is so bomb like me and him got a different relationship than what I feel like with everybody. Because I'm like. And it is the way my God be talking to me.

Speaker 1
00:45:21
Like you're not thrown away. And matter of fact, I'm about to have you go back in their face and show them how I redeemed you and it. And it's not even done in a way that is like to. Yeah. Look, no, I sincerely, absolutely. Because I know a place that I've been in. I pray for those people. I pray for the level of brokenness you had to be at to do what you did. That has to be a terrible place.

Speaker 4
00:45:44
it's just so interesting how it's the ones that you didn't think that were going to make it through. God is the one who raises those.

Speaker 1
00:45:56
Up at the time.

Speaker 4
00:45:57
You know.

Speaker 1
00:45:57
All the time. Think about Joseph. I talk about this story all the time and how, you know, the Lord was giving him dreams. His brothers got jealous through him and sold them off. Yeah. Now one. What was that? Was it 12 years? I think it was 12 years.

Speaker 4
00:46:11
Yes, I think so.

Speaker 1
00:46:13
People get upset at how long they're waiting for the dream to come true.

Speaker 1
00:46:16
But imagine if God allowed Joseph's dream to come true a year later.

Speaker 4
00:46:22
He wasn't ready.

Speaker 1
00:46:23
Would his character been ready if his brothers would have came to him a year later saying, we're hungry, we're in a famine? Do you think he would have fed them? No, I wouldn't.

Speaker 4
00:46:32
Have no.

Speaker 1
00:46:33
A year like.

Speaker 4
00:46:34
Yeah.

Speaker 1
00:46:35
I'm sitting in this, my throne, my my chair, and I'm looking down at y'all peasants the way y'all threw me away and threw me in the pit and sold me off to the slaves. Y'all not getting nothing. Good luck. I might. I'll feed my daddy because he loved me. Joseph's father loved him, right, y'all? The brothers lied to him. My brothers have a great day. The 12 years of getting his heart right. Getting his emotional intelligence together enough to where? When he saw them, he mourned for them. Right? He he felt bad for them. And he took care of them. Yeah, I think that's the same process that God takes us through.

Speaker 1
00:47:09
So a lot of times we're waiting to, like, flex on people that did us wrong. You especially don't need to get nothing in that moment because that was my season. I can't wait, I can't wait for them to see me. I can't wait for for them to have to see. God never made anything happen. Yeah, little small wins for sure. But it was, it was. It wasn't until I sincerely did not care. Yeah. I was so locked in on just being obedient, right. I was, I came face to face with them. Right. And the, the way that my heart I'm talking, I saw a literally a whole leadership board at a, at a target here in Atlanta. So I moved away and I saw these people here. When I tell you I damn near ran to hug them.

Speaker 4
00:47:50
Wow.

Speaker 1
00:47:51
Sincere piece. Yeah. And I already know that's what God was waiting for. Like I'm waiting for you. I want to raise you up. But that gotta get right.

Speaker 1
00:47:59
Because when you go there, I want you to be able to stay there. Yeah. I want you to be able to multiply what I'm giving you. But you can't do that if you are bitter.

Speaker 4
00:48:08
It's a hard posture.

Speaker 1
00:48:09
It's absolutely hard. It's a hard posture.

Speaker 4
00:48:11
The right heart posture will position you for elevation. Absolutely. in the kingdom, for sure.

Speaker 1
00:48:18
That's what God cares about. We care about the promotion. God cares about the process. Yes. That's why I tell myself first and foremost, even when I hear people say, you know, talk about the wilderness or processing or girl, that's one of my favorite times. Like when I lie and I know I'm psycho for this, I know I am. You can literally ask my husband, like the revelations that I'm getting the breakthrough, that I'm getting the healing, the way God highlights certain things in my heart and my mind. Things that I thought was gone. I love that journey with God. I love being isolated and locked in with him.

Speaker 1
00:48:55
I love it, the Promised Land and you know, seasons of promise. It is beautiful, right? but something about that process and the breaking, the intimacy, the heightened of, you know, your just your senses with God and your oneness with. It's nothing like needing God. You know, when you and I, I'm not even in that. But, I'm not in the wilderness at all. God has been really good, but.

Speaker 4
00:49:19
Right.

Speaker 1
00:49:20
The promise and the the beauty. Once you aren't out of that, it is beautiful. It's joyful, it's light. But I do feel more in tune with God when I am in the wilderness.

Speaker 4
00:49:31
Right? Because you don't you don't have anything going on. Just me. It's just you and God. Yeah, yeah. how did you know what God was calling you to do? Like, how did you know? Like, okay, this is my calling. This. I'm. This is it. I'm sticking to it.

Speaker 1
00:49:50
Trauma with women.

Speaker 1
00:49:53
Yeah. That's when I knew I was called to women. started with mother wounds and a little bit of sister wounds. And then my first spiritual family the women there. So every like first woman that I've experienced has been trauma connected to it. Every friendship trauma connected to it. Not saying I did not play a part because I absolutely did. and I got to a place where I was like, to be honest, y'all, I don't know about y'all, but me and my husband were actually, like, best friends. Literally. I absolutely don't need friends.

Speaker 4
00:50:25
But I.

Speaker 1
00:50:26
Really don't need it, right? I'm locked in. I love going on vacation with him. I love, you know, at the time, having a drink with him. I absolutely loved. Right Uno at home, going out like that's my dog right outside of him being my manager and what he needs to do sometimes. Right. That's absolutely my friend. So I got to a place where I was like, I really don't need y'all.

Speaker 1
00:50:46
And God was like, in your call to them. Yeah. And so I remember after. And so, because I knew I was called to them, I knew I had to go to therapy for that. And I knew I had to walk through that.

Speaker 4
00:50:57
So there was some work.

Speaker 1
00:50:58
Oh my gosh, three years of no friends and working on it. So I wasn't just not having fun. So I went through the season where I'm like, I'm good, I don't want them. I'm chilling. Yeah. To I'm calling you to this and you need to work on that, you know, on every friendship from your mom, anyone. Let's walk through it. And I went to therapy for three years, locked in on every situation that happened. Got to the core in the root of it, which I found out it was a bloodline thing. Thing. So I had to uproot all seeds from grandma, passed down every conversation that I remember hearing from a little girl like, you know, women, they'll come in your house and steal your man.

Speaker 1
00:51:34
You've been not letting a woman hearing these things begin to program me. I had to release that because any woman that God has called to me, I'm not going to be worried about her taking my man. That's right. That's the enemy. Absolutely.

Speaker 4
00:51:47
Just playing tricks. Planting seeds of fear.

Speaker 1
00:51:50
Fear. So? So you deny the gift of sisterhood. Because I don't want to take the chance. I've been broken. I'm not opening myself. And again, it doesn't help if you're actually like, good. Like if you making money, you gotta. You got a good life. Yeah. You can really get to a place where you're like, I actually don't need y'all. Like, I'm actually chilling. And I'm an introvert in real life. Yeah. I love being by myself.

Speaker 4
00:52:14
Yeah.

Speaker 1
00:52:15
After spending time with God, my husband and my family, that's I have to force myself to get around friends. And I have beautiful friends, right. And they know this about me, right? I have to go, girl.

Speaker 1
00:52:24
You gotta you gotta get some face time with them. Because I really do love being with myself. But I went on an extensive journey of healing those wounds that I experienced with women, and a few things that I realized. One thing that I was bad at was love bombing. So I would get a friend and I would love bomb, and then I'd be like, dang, I'm actually tired of you. And then I would like back off.

Speaker 4
00:52:49
We talked about love bombing yesterday. We did the opposite. But that's interesting to hear from a.

Speaker 1
00:52:55
For sure.

Speaker 4
00:52:56
It.

Speaker 1
00:52:56
Was deficit.

Speaker 4
00:52:57
From.

Speaker 1
00:52:58
Remember we talked about that. Yes. So because I was in deficit of women as soon as I got a little bit of a what I thought was a healthy woman. Yes. Let's be friends, let's lock in, let's do this, let's do this. And it wasn't until I got to know myself, number one, I had to tell myself, TK, you cannot deny or be ashamed that you are.

Speaker 1
00:53:16
I know we don't like these words. You are on the lower maintenance side of friendships like you are. That's who you are. And I know we weaponize that because it can be bad. A low maintenance friend can be not a good friend. She just don't tap in with you. And I had that season, but I had to honor that because I also was made to feel bad once. So I went through the love mommy friendship at the friendship and I said, well, why do I do that? Well, you do that because there's a deficit. You have not had this. So as soon as you get it, you're like, let's go. But in order to have longevity, you have to pace yourself in everything. And so I learned certain parts of myself. I learned how to be a better friend. I learned how to slow down. Some women didn't like that, and I let them walk out the door. This is who I am. I'm not going to be husband number two because a lot of women absolutely have.

Speaker 4
00:54:08
Okay, I see what you're saying.

Speaker 1
00:54:09
Yeah, yeah. I'm not going to be your husband.

Speaker 4
00:54:11
The needy.

Speaker 1
00:54:13
The biggest turnoff for me is. Yeah. Yeah. As soon as I get a little speck of that.

Speaker 4
00:54:18
Yeah.

Speaker 1
00:54:19
We're not going to. You're not because I'm. I'm so I think have you heard of, I think it's called like, the love attachments or something like that so that I can have anxious attachments.

Speaker 4
00:54:30
I haven't.

Speaker 1
00:54:31
Heard of and,

Speaker 4
00:54:32
But.

Speaker 1
00:54:32
Avoidant attachment.

Speaker 4
00:54:34
But there's definitely attachments. Yeah.

Speaker 1
00:54:36
There's, there's different forms of attachments. And so I attract anxious attachment type people because I am an avoidant attachment type person. So I attach I attract attract clingy your type of people. And it was a standard that I had to set in the beginning because again, from a deficit I would ignore that. Like, oh, but she's cool. No, this is going to be a problem. Well, you don't handle now. You're going to have to handle in the future and it's going to be worse.

Speaker 1
00:55:06
And so I had to stand on. I had to get to know myself, know my flaws. Okay, that's unhealthy to be avoided and just dip off. Right. But why are you doing that? Because it's too much for you. So you need a standard of women. A few standards that I made a long time ago before I even got healthy. I said, I have to be friends with women that got something going on. And I remember people used to be like, I mean, girl, you could have a bomb. Best friend. That's a stay at home mom no, I can't.

Speaker 4
00:55:31
I'm learning that.

Speaker 1
00:55:32
I.

Speaker 4
00:55:32
Can't. I'm learning that because they have to have something to offer.

Speaker 1
00:55:38
Or you're just going to be. Or that's where. Yeah. Or jealous things creep in for sure with women for sure, because they don't have and they can't want what you have. But a lot of if you have something going on for yourself, then they're not going to want what you have.

Speaker 1
00:55:52
Then that removes the jealousy, the insecurity. Yes, ma'am. And so I've learned I'm learning that same. Yeah. I think it's you know, I remember sharing this before and I was actually talking to it was a friend at the time. She was single. She didn't have kids. which I'm big on that as well, because I think having children develops you in a way as well. And so there are certain attributes I will tell all of them. But there when I sit down with a girl on a, on a possible friendship date, I'm, I'm checking all these points like, okay, because there are certain things. Yes. When a woman is not in purpose, we can absolutely expect a few things. We can expect jealousy. Good. We can absolutely expect comparison. Well, at least you out there doing that. I ain't got nothing going. I don't even know that I'm in such a. And I pray that your audience listens to what I'm about to say through the filter of the Holy Spirit is so good.

Speaker 1
00:56:55
I'm literally going, like, Nabil, we talked about this, just navigating through that and go ahead. Yeah. Speaking on it, you know, and when you got stuff going on, sometimes you're so locked in, locked in that you miss some stuff and they're like, you know, let's talk about it. So if you have a woman that is, not in purpose, or maybe she's trying to be in purpose, but you are. Yeah. and my experience, I have absolutely experienced women that have come in my life because they want to do what I do. Yeah. Instead of just coming in as a mentee. And I can mentor you, and I can help you. Yeah. They put on a facade of wanting to be my friend. Yeah. So trying to come in to be my friend, to gain pieces of my personality, to see how I even to see how I do marriage. How are you as a wife? I want to be that. I want to do that.

Speaker 1
00:57:47
And I remember experiencing in one of my friendships a young lady that wouldn't like anything, but she would watch everything, she wouldn't support anything. And next thing I know, she is a wife's coach. Since I could have gave you the platform to do this on, I could have told you the cameras to get and I would have done that. And so it's so many and that's just one aspect. You have another side that is the silent competition. Yeah. Always trying to one up and it's like, girl, I don't even listen. That ain't even in my blood to do that. I am so in love with myself. Right? I am grateful. It is a phenomenal. You're doing your thing. I'm gonna show up. Yeah. and so I think again, when you have women that are beginning, I just think that for me, this is TK there are standards that I have because I've experienced not having those standards. Yeah. I don't want it. I don't want silent competition. I don't want the comparison.

Speaker 1
00:58:42
I don't want the insecurity. I don't want to be your therapist. I don't want to have to build you up all the time. Yeah, I'm on go. And if you need me in a way to be God, husband or their therapist, I'm. It's not going to work for us. But to avoid all of that. Basically being friends with a woman who's in purpose. Yes. Who has something going for herself? Yes. Loves herself. I mean, there's a there's a certain standard, like there has to be like a just like how you do with, with romantic relationships and there's a certain checklist with the friendships. Yeah. There's certain things that needs to be in place. And even health wise, I remember I stopped caring about, well, it was a season where I was like, well, it don't matter if they're, you know, not caring about food or not caring about their health. Yeah. But if every time we go out to eat, you want to go to, you know, pick goods and pig toes.

Speaker 1
00:59:40
I'm not going to have nothing. Yeah, I'm not going to have nothing to eat there. I don't want it. It's going to be a disconnect and then I'm going to be concerned. I'm going to be concerned because I'll be like, why are you eating pig toes? Every day like that surely cannot be healthy. What is happening? What is going on? So it is levels to it. And I used to be ashamed to admit that. And I said, girl, you're the one that keep experiencing trauma. Feel like it's not like I think I'm better. No no no, no. Yeah I got tired of breaking women's heart. Yeah, that's what I got to. Because I would become friends with women that, you know, either weren't in purpose or they weren't whatever. Right. And because I love them or I'm trying to make this sound cute, I was also slightly trying to change them, like, girl care about that? Yeah. Girl care. And they would get tired of that.

Speaker 1
01:00:31
Like, I am who I am and I would get tired of having to leave friendships. I know, you know, just having to let people go, because that's one thing that I've learned how to do well was let people go absolutely. In friendships and romantically. Yeah. Then I'm like, I wonder how, if this is even toxic or or what? I don't I think it depends on how you're leaving. I was just talking to my sister. I helped her through a difficult conversation. I said, there's not one relationship that I left that they're clueless on. Why I left? Yeah, every relationship that I left, they know exactly why I have had mature, healthy conversations. And I think it's just you can leave, but how you do it. And so before we go, where can people find you if they want to listen to the podcast, join your community? Yeah. tell us where we can find you. Yeah. So you can find me everywhere at TK Lee. That's anything.

Speaker 1
01:01:25
I also make music. So if you need a holy girl Christian hip hop playlist. definitely tapping with that. My community is all on TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, everything, every social media platform. You can also find my podcast. Am I looking into this camera? Yes. Okay. Yeah. yes. You can find the podcast on all my social medias as well. Me and my husband also have relationship coaching, so if you are dating someone, we always say this do not date privately. Put that man in front of some folk okay so we can see what's going on with him. Do that, tap in. But y'all just stay connected. I think that even if you don't join anything, it is beautiful to at least begin to expose yourself to better information. Expose those gates to God given content. That's so good. Well, thank you so much for coming, coming in from Atlanta, being here for your time. And that's all family. We will see you in the next episode.

Speaker 1
01:02:26
God loves you so much and so do I. Bye.